Bees in my Bonnet / Sadie's Boy / Sullatober Dalton / Uncategorized

Monkeys and membranes

The latest scientific discovery that opens new frontiers is the finding that, because of a membrane, it is only we, Homo sapiens, no other primates, who can speak properly. (My friend asked if there was any likelihood of membrane transplants for the person they live with, but it seems the waiting list is very long and protestors are active.)

This lack of ability to ‘talk’ means that primates (I was about to say monkeys but that may be politically incorrect by now) can’t discuss complex ideas like honesty and loving, or even sex. That means they can’t chat up a chick and have a bit of casual sex, or even rape.

It means the Alpha member of the troop, whether male or female, has to dominate by a public show of superiority, while our lack of a membrain, sorry, membrane, allows us to avoid open conflict and settle differences in more mature and sophisticated ways.

By implication, these findings also raise the question of our origins. Are we really descended from monkeys, or from birds? Monkeys can’t talk, but budgies, parrots, and even jackdaws can. We’ve all know the budgie in the office who repeats everything to the boss, just as we’ve all known the parrot, who repeats whatever the boss thinks – whose a good boy, then! There have even been jackdaws who talk behind everyone’s back.

Mind you, there are someone might suppose are descended from fish, who stand and gape, mouths open and closing but making no sense at all and one wonders what kind of membrane they lack.

In these days of equality, one is forced to comment on the fact that dogs and cats are unable to articulate words but, especially with cats, one feels they have watched humans display their superior communication skills and decided to forego the privilege.

Just to finish off properly, or should I say, pwopewy, one does not roll one’s rs,  and, everything else withstanding, this lack of a membrane has meant we are spared having monkeys primates, in parliament.